Chaos, Turmoil & Frustration

Where to begin?

I am having a ridiculously difficult week! Between Ethan changing his routine around, not wanting to sleep of a day, teething and having a cold; and Turtle (foster son) misbehaving at school, spitting, being fidgety, biting at home, being his usual defiant little self - I think I am going to explode........

I cannot express out fed up I am with Turtle at the moment. The challenge with him and his behaviour has been a constant battle since day 1 of him coming to be in our care. Do you think we've received support? Offers of assessments? Referrals for assessments? Followed through recommendations? Do you think we've had anything for him?

I am so thankful he has an understanding teacher. She is keeping me informed on his behaviour at school, and while to her some of the things he is doing are "small", it's just "yet another thing" to add to the list for me at home. I thought maybe he had ADD or ADHD (and I am not quick to use such labels), his teacher reassures me she has other students who take up more of her time than Turtle does. However, this doesn't reassure me when I see him punch his partner (walking in lines) or spit on him. It doesn't reassure me when the teacher tells me she couldn't control him during an assembly where he just would not sit still and behave. It doesn't reassure me when she tells me he refuses to do his work in class. Again, small things to her, just another thing to me.

I don't want to be seen as the parent who shrugs everything off and doesn't take positive steps to help rectify their child's behaviours. I don't want to be the parent that other parents look at with contempt because their child is possibly hurting theirs or being spat on. ]

I am at my wits end right now. I know Turtle's behaviours aren't as bad as I've seen from other children over the years, however, it doesn't make the situation any easier for me.

I am tired of speaking to him about what he's done wrong. Nothing we say or do has any effect on him whatsoever and we have tried many things! Yelling, time out, loss of priveleges (ie tv, favourite toy taken away), missing out on treats (ie the others get desert and he doesn't, he doesn't get his school lunch order), being spoken to by other people (ie grandparents, teacher). We tried implementing a behaviour chart where you earn stars but he was losing his stars faster than he was being rewarded with one. For every positive (good) thing he does, there's 5 negative (bad) things he does after it.

Frustration doesn't even begin to describe the situation!

I have again asked for help with him. I have again asked who we are meant to take him to see. I have again asked to be contacted back. Bloody Government Departments!! You see there's a certain way you have to go about things with them. But I'm fast running out of patience and I will be just going out on a limb soon and organising things privately myself. And forwarding all bills to them!

And through all of this, Chipmunk (foster daughter and Turtle's sister), has decided now it's time for her to start mimicking Turtle's behaviours.

And on top of all this, my 2 units for Uni start on March 3rd which is 1 1/2 weeks away.

Please explain to me how I am supposed to unwind, relax, and get into a good mindset so that I'm not overwhelmed by it all???

Thankfully I will have a 1 night break this weekend while all the children spend the night with my Mum.