It's what makes us "us"

Every once in a while you will come across someone who has been through something horrendous, life changing, terrifying or your perception of it. Every once in a while that someone will make you sit back and say "thank God I never went through that!" or make you think how awful it must've been for them and how you wish you could've done something. Every once in a while, that person you've come across, is all the while extremely thankful for you having been there in that instant. For your being there, you've given them strength, willpower, courage and the urge to keep on going.

At least that's what I can say for myself. Except I'm not the one who came across someone. I was the one who made someone thankful that it never happened to them, or to the same extent, and I was the one who will forever be grateful for having that friend be there when she was needed.

Every once in a while I'll reflect. It'll come up in a conversation, like tonight, and I'll be quite ok to sit and talk about things. Remember little things, or maybe something I hadn't previously told, and afterwards I can say "but you know what......as much as I wish it wasn't part of my life experiences, it's what makes us 'us'."

Every thing that happens in your life, however small or great, has some impact on the person you become. There are the good things that bring us the positives of life, and then there are the absolutely horrible things we'd rather not speak of that put us in such negative places we think we'll never come away from. Those places, however dark, help shape us.

For me, those years of my life can never be rewound so I can start again. But if I could rewind them, would I? Sure I would. I'd give anything to not have that in my life history. But if I did erase it, would I be who I am now? That's the thing.

Every little thing leads to an even bigger thing and the final outcome is you. Who you are. Where you are. The choices you've made. The life you lead.

So to my friend, who was there for me all those years ago, thank you! I know you still to this day wonder was there something you could've done, could you have found the right words to say to someone, wondering did you do enough. I want you to know you did more than I ever wanted or expected you to do. What you did; being there for me, keeping my confidence was more than I could've asked for. At a time like that, you'll never quite fully understand how having someone I could tell everything to set me free and gave me the strength to keep on going. I've never forgotten that, or what you told me in return (which is a confidence I've never broken to this day), and I never will.

Isn't it strange what a conversation makes you reflect on?